Trollslum Cafe Rules
02-21-2014, 04:08 AM (This post was last modified: 08-07-2015 12:20 PM by amosmyn.)
Post: #1
Trollslum Cafe Rules
Listed below are some general rules that must be adhered to when roleplaying here in the café:

A.) Trollslum prerequisites:

1.) Troll behaviour:

Trolls are expected to abide by the hemospectrum. For example, a Seadweller sympathizing with a rustblood will not be tolerated. This is Alternia; hemorebels will not be tolerated here in the cafe.

In addition, trolls are not generally "soft" towards others. Trolls that are overly kind, shy, wimpy, and scared of everything are most likely to be cullbait for the trolls that act like they're supposed to. Trolls are rude, mean, and they act like Internet trolls. Of course, this doesn't mean your troll cannot be kind to their friends. Why wouldn't they be? But you can't just have them start being super nice to random strangers. That's not how it works.

Please remember that trolls would NEVER sleep outside of a recuperacoon intentionally. They would suffer horrible, traumatizing nightmares if they tried to sleep without the aid of sopor slime. The café has no recuperacoons in it either, so a troll would have to leave to get rest. If you make your troll go to sleep in the café, they had best wake up with severe PTSD and bloodlust. And if we find you doing this a lot, there will be consequences for it.

2.) Mutants, cyborgs, and other non-trolls:

This is a rule that is going to be more enforced than others. Lets talk about the different kinds of mutants first.


These are the Karkat trolls. A troll with any colour of blood that is not on the hemospectrum. If your troll has a blood mutation, then you need to find somewhere else to roleplay. These kinds do not exist on Alternia simply because they would die in the caverns.

Also, please note that trolls with black or white blood, remember that those are in no way canon colours. That colour of blood does not exist for the troll species. And if your troll has rainbow blood or blood that changes colour, then just please leave this forum altogether and seek remedial help. Overly bright blood is also forbidden, both for being a mutation and also a huge pain to read.

And if you have a Seadweller with blood that is not violet or fuchsia, you really need to get some major help.

Anatomical mutations:

These are the physical/psychic mutations of the trolls. You have seen mutations like these in the Homestuck comic, such as Vriska's eyes, and even Eridan's hair colour. These will be accepted, provided that they are within reason and do not overpower your troll.

Eye and hair mutations are among the most acceptable, but do not expect your troll to be in the cafe without having someone try to pull something. Alternia is supposed to be free of the mutants; your troll will be a target. Any other mutations, such as wings, over-powered psychics, and anything that majorly distorts your troll's appearance may be questioned. To borrow from the original Trollslum Café's thread: if your troll turns heads when it walks in the door, don't bother bringing it in.


Troll powers should never be “too” powerful. How powerful is that? If your troll can easily crush tons of people with his power, that’s a no-no. No troll should be able to match the power of any of the canons, especially Sollux or Mituna.

Trolls above olive are not allowed to have powers at all, period. However, the use of chucklevoodoos may be used lightly, but are by no means meant to be used extensively, nor are they allowed to grant extreme and/or ridiculous power due to the fact we know next to nothing about them and grant an unfair advantage to the already powerful Indigo caste.

Olive blooded trolls can have powers, but they should not be anywhere near powerful. Since they’re on the edge of the no-powers zone, their abilities should be fairly weak or useless.


If your troll is more than 50% bot, please don't bring them into the café. Reason being is because if your troll shows signs of having to rebuild themselves, it means that they've had someone try to cull them, which leaves an open invite for anyone else to finish the job. If your troll has cybernetic parts, please explain in your fantroll profile why they have them. If you want them to have robotics because you think it's cool, it's really not. If you don't have a good reason, then don't have them.


If you have a fanhuman, alien, or a carapace, this isn't the place for them. Other threads will be created for you to roleplay with those, but it is not here. Keep those guys as far away from the café as possible.

3.) Reality:

Even though this is roleplaying, the laws of realism still are in effect. If your troll gets hit in the face, you can't just shrug it off and act like it never happened. If your troll is in a fight and loses a body part, they WILL bleed. Just because trolls are heavy bleeders doesn't mean that they will be okay. And it's also very highly unlikely that your troll will get their severed limbs magically sewn back on and have them fully functional. If your troll loses an arm, their only hope is a robotic arm. Sorry.

B.) General roleplaying rules:

1.) Godmodding:

Godmodding is defined as basically "forcing someone into an action through unfair circumstances." Your troll cannot automatically hit another troll without express permission from the other author. This also includes using several of your own trolls to gang up on someone else’s.

An example of godmodding:

"Xombox slugs Martis in the chest, driving the wind from him before finishing up with a knife to the neck."

Unless he got permission for that, Xombox just earned himself a stern talking to and a retcon.

Godmodding does not include highbloods bossing around lowbloods. That is completely normal, and up to the lowblood to obey. Of course, any repercussions that result for them are their own fault.

2.) Roleplaying:

Jump right in! If your fantroll's profile has been posted, feel free to walk your troll in whoever you like. You can have them sit down at a table or booth, or at the bar. If you want them to talk to someone that is already in the café, make sure that other troll isn't already talking to someone else.

Actions such as sending a note, drink, or any other object to a troll engaged in roleplay with someone that is not you without their permission is not allowed. It is rude and disrupts the other person's roleplaying. If you would like to do this, please ask the player before doing it. They might not like their conversations to be interrupted, and if that is the case, please respect that.

Please don't center your troll to gang up on someone else's troll every time they are in the café. It's understandable if they are trying to cull or interrogate someone, but there are times when that other person will want to come and roleplay without being bothered by threats. Please respect that as well.

When using OOC speech, (out-of-character) use (( parentheses )) or [[ brackets ]] to show that it is non-roleplay. Any posts containing only OOC replies will be deleted. Redirect those to the Trollslum GenChat or use the Personal Message feature.


Guidelines for helping you to avoid excluding other roleplayers:

A.) Avoid instant roleplaying.

For instance, "Jesena walked in the door and instantly sat down at Donner's table, striking up a conversation." Do not do this. I can understand if you have planned out a roleplay conversation, but this takes away so many opportunities to meet and interact with other characters. Try using something like "Jesena walked in the door, waving hello at Donner before walking up to the bar to order a drink." Because what if someone else wanted to roleplay with Donner? Or perhaps someone is wanting to roleplay with Jesena? Give it a chance. Don't rush into things.

B.) Avoid using multiple characters to interact with one character/multiple characters from one individual player.

This shouldn't be rocket science, guys. I don't know why you need to play as two trolls to talk to just one other troll. And it's also pretty rude to have two of your trolls talking to two other trolls played by the same person. That's extremely exclusive, and it shouldn't happen. There are lonely roleplayers with their trolls in the café, and you are cutting them off by roleplaying like that. So let us just not do that.

C.) Avoid using the same troll to interact with the same troll every time you roleplay.

This can create the feeling of being excluded when you're on the outside. If you always roleplay as Donner, and you always make Donner talk to Jesena, when people see Donner, they automatically know that he is going to talk to only Jesena. Thus, they already feel ignored and unwanted even before you roleplay. Try using different trolls, and please try to use them to rp with members that you don't normally rp with. Make them feel like they are a member of the café and that they are just as important as you are.

D.) Avoid only looking for members that you want to roleplay with.

There is usually someone else in the café, just waiting for someone to roleplay with. Don't be the asshole that looks around, sees everyone, and then just goes for the person that they always talk to, or the member that they like best. Try to roleplay with someone who has been there waiting for a partner. Who knows, perhaps you might even enjoy yourself.

3.) Strifes:

All trolls fight. It's common knowledge. A scuffle in the café is one thing, but if you want to duke it out with weapons and psionics, you are not allowed to do it inside the café. Take it to the private messaging system, or to the back alley. This café thread is for conversation; not endless pages of fighting.

4.) Romance:

Acceptable behaviour:

Quadrants are important for trolls to have. We encourage your troll to develop relationships and quadrants with others. But as seen canonically in Homestuck, trolls prefer to keep their quadrants private. It is acceptable to hold hands with your Matesprit in the café, and even have a quick kiss. But if you bring a lot of snogging in here, I will personally take it out. Blackrom actions such as physical abuse in the name of the quadrant can be triggering and will not be acceptable here. Something simple such as a slap in the face is okay, but if you're going to choke someone or start harming them, don't bother. Do it over some other medium.

5.) Interactions with other players:

If you are experiencing problems with another player, such as godmodding, the repeatedly harassment of your troll even if you have personally asked the player to stop, or just having someone barge into your own roleplaying, please do not call them out on the thread. Please address me or any of the other mods via PM and we will attend to it as soon as possible.

6.) These rules you just read:

These are subject to change at any time, so if I were you, I'd check them a few times a month just to make sure.

Thank you, and have fun roleplaying!

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01-02-2015, 09:25 AM (This post was last modified: 01-02-2015 09:26 AM by amosmyn.)
Post: #2
RE: Cafe Rules
For the sake of making the Roleplaying Subforum more accessible to non-troll RP'ers, I'd like to request that these rules be embed into the OP of any and all Café roleplaying topics instead of being a sticky for the whole subforum.

You can use one of these to reduce clutter:
Spoiler buttons are amazing!
Any objections?
02-15-2015, 04:32 PM (This post was last modified: 02-15-2015 04:33 PM by Xomb.)
Post: #3
RE: Cafe Rules
Well the thread is titled "Cafe Rules", so why don't I just make a different thread for non-Cafe rules?

It’s too bad that stupidity isn't painful. Ignorance is one thing, but our society thrives increasingly on stupidity. It depends on people going along with whatever they are told. The media promotes a cultivated stupidity as a posture that is not only acceptable but laudable. -Anton Szandor LaVey

[Image: 4GOEnp0.gif]
02-16-2015, 03:21 AM
Post: #4
RE: Cafe Rules
Maybe people might think those rules won't apply to the Café when in fact they should be General Roleplay Etiquette?

Edited for Readability and Preservation of Sanity - The Revolution - OP - Chapter 1/2 - Chapter 2/2 (missing maps) - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 (Ongoing) - Chat
02-16-2015, 08:46 AM
Post: #5
RE: Cafe Rules
No, they definitely need to be appended to the Cafe topics because this subforum isn't going to be restricted to only being a Trollslum even with the General Games adopting the standard Roleplay section.
02-23-2015, 02:30 PM (This post was last modified: 02-23-2015 02:31 PM by amosmyn.)
Post: #6
RE: Cafe Rules
On second thought, could you merge the rules here with the Trollslum Bulletin topic?
I just dont think it needs its own seperate topic.

Said bulletin probably needs to be made universal and inclusive of Fan RPs too beyond MSPA.

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