Complete Science Train
07-27-2014, 10:06 AM (This post was last modified: 02-02-2016 07:48 AM by ProfessorLizzard.)
Post: #1
Science Train
Every couple of years, the Federal Republic Of Scientistan holds the National World Fair, where all kind of scientists can show off their work. The only problem is that it is held in the easternmost colony, Expostok, and you live in the city of Westcow, therefore you must travel through the entire lenght of the Transscientian Railway. Luckily for you, you and your friends managed to finance a personal train, so you and your equipment don't have to ride with the common non-science folk. But beware... the ride is full of bandits, beasts and possibly wizards. Are you SCIENCE enough to make it to the National World Fair?
You might have to link up your SCIENCE with each other and create combination artifacts to survive.

Please fill this form to receive your permit:
Name: [who are you?]
Short Description: [what can you say about you?]
Favourite Color: [Blue! No, yellow...]
SCIENCE: what is the field of science you excel in?
Expo project: What is it that you want to show on the National World Fair?
Preferred train position: [Driver, engineer, fighter, or...?]

  • This game contains mad science. SCIENCE is not the same as science
  • This game will be very short, about six ingame days, possibly a month in real life
  • Tower defense-ish game, peppered with ways for people to combine their SCIENCEs.
07-27-2014, 10:38 AM (This post was last modified: 07-27-2014 01:21 PM by Bramzter.)
Post: #2
RE: Science Train
Name: Doctor Kentucky Fry-pan Eddie
Short Description: A rather slumly looking man in ratty cloths a stained labcoat and wearing a paper bag on his head.
Favourite Color: Yellow for obvious reasons
SCIENCE: Urinology! The Science of peeing on things!
Expo project: He has found the most pure and unfilthed subject of urine, achieved when pissing over a replica ferris wheel.
Preferred train position: Restroom Janitor
07-27-2014, 01:01 PM
Post: #3
RE: Science Train
Name: Dr. John Doe
Short Description: A confused-looking fellow who appears to have forgotten to tie his shoes, who nevertheless insists he has made a tremendous discovery.
Favourite Color: Um... Green? No, wait, it was red, I'm sure of it!
SCIENCE: Memerology... That wasn't the term... Neurosisology... Aha! Neuropsychology!
Expo project: Hm.. I think, wait, it was the erasure and restoration of memory. But there was a living subject I was going to present. Who was it?
Preferred train position: Conductor. He goes around checking tickets, and, never sure if he checked them all, goes back to check them again.

The one, the only, Vancho!
07-27-2014, 02:15 PM (This post was last modified: 07-28-2014 07:48 AM by ICan'tGiveCredit.)
Post: #4
RE: Science Train
Name: Bill Dye the Revival Guy
Short Description: I'm kind of dead. No, don't look at me that way. My rotting skin is perfectly natural. It is a beautiful complexion. *fizzle*
Favourite Color: Grey as my mind
SCIENCE: Neucromancy (undead brains)
Expo project: My machine thing that fixes peoples' brains
Preferred train position: Brawler. Just, brawling with conductors, y'know, totally normal thing to do.

Edited for Readability and Preservation of Sanity - The Revolution - OP - Chapter 1/2 - Chapter 2/2 (missing maps) - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 (Ongoing) - Chat
07-27-2014, 04:17 PM
Post: #5
RE: Science Train
Name:Martha Mint
Short Description:A quite small brown haired woman that has this really small nose
Favourite Color:Cyan
SCIENCE:nanology the study of tiny robots
Expo project:Shes Bringing Nano bots that can mess with atoms to turn one thing into another thing.
Preferred train position:engineer
07-27-2014, 04:20 PM
Post: #6
RE: Science Train
Name: Doctor Feelbad.

Short Description: Just a regular psychologist, really. I've worked hard, put in my dues, and I keep in touch with my parents regularly. Do you? You don't? Oh. Hm. Well I'm sure they're dealing with the crushing loneliness of post-middle age just fine, don't worry.

Favourite Color: Navy

SCIENCE: Negative Psychology

Expo project: A film. Don't worry, I'm well aware this isn't an art fair, this is a scientifically constructed film made that is capable of making any subject intensely aware of their own faults and shortcomings. It's a lot like that one project you started and promised yourself you would finish, only I actually completed mine.

Preferred train position: The same position your life regrets occupy in your mind - the back. The caboose, to use your train language.
07-27-2014, 06:01 PM
Post: #7
RE: Science Train
Name: Aristaeus

Short Description: A SWARM OF BEES. Each bee has an adorable bow.

Favourite Color: Red, because they are angry bees.


Expo project: They want to showcase their novel strains of exotic crops. Boring, really.

Preferred train position: Driver because it is farthest away from the icky smoke.
07-27-2014, 07:58 PM (This post was last modified: 07-27-2014 08:41 PM by ProfessorLizzard.)
Post: #8
RE: Science Train
I... I am going to veto the urine idea. Also your character has to be human, that is why there was no species field.
07-27-2014, 09:39 PM (This post was last modified: 07-27-2014 09:44 PM by Coldblooded.)
Post: #9
RE: Science Train
Name(s): Tess and Nicole Wardenclyffe
Short Description: Two identical twin sisters who are no longer identical after a recent FREAK SCIENCE ACCIDENT swapped Tess' mind with that of their family's pet parrot. Nicole is a tall, dark-skinned high school student, who always wears a purple lab coat wherever she goes. Tess usually is also, but as of right now she is a talkative and very annoying Violet Macaw instead.
Favourite Color: Purple
SCIENCE: Electricity! (Also mind transfers, but those are super dangerous and unreliable and ill-advised.)
Expo project: On the surface, it looks just like an ordinary, coil-shaped, perpetual motion machine, much like you'd see in any other high school SCIENCE fair. But the two of them know that it has the potential to introduce the world to cheap and only mildly dangerous mind transfers. As long as they can manage to get a research grant of course. I guess they probably also want to get Tess swapped back into her own body once they get back home, but that's not like a priority or anything.
Preferred train position: Nicole pushes the food cart around to help keep the crew from starving for the next few days. Tess on the other hand, is perfectly happy to use her "cranial displacement" as an excuse to get out of work whenever possible.

(Absolutely any forum game can be improved with the addition of a talking animal companion. This is a proven fact.)

07-27-2014, 10:49 PM
Post: #10
RE: Science Train
Heh. it was just a reference anyway
07-28-2014, 01:08 AM
Post: #11
RE: Science Train
Name: Mikhail Pomelnikov
Short Description: Is large, strapping man who does not look like should be among the puny science creature. Is man who believes in hard work and the sweating of the brows. Proud mustache and long beard like true man.
Favourite Color: Brown, strongest color who consumed others to make self.
SCIENCE: Animology, the science of the making of things from not moving to moving, with a minor in the opposite science of the making of things from moving to not moving (Science Commission and police have informed that this is not science and is in fact against many laws but Mikhail does not believe).
Expo project: Friendmaker is large machine, much to large for usual puny science creature to operate by themselves. Takes up much space. Has ability to turn things that are not moving into things that are moving, though many say that they do not have any of the 'feelings' or 'personality' of actual living things and just do as told. Mikhail believes they are just excited to live and wish to fight Mikhail as well!
Preferred train position: Mikhail would be handling baggage yes? Much to do there with the moving around and many new friends to make moving.
07-28-2014, 07:40 AM
Post: #12
RE: Science Train
aw, okay :(

Name: Zoe Logist

Short Description: A lady inside an animal costume of a Spiffybeast*. The said costume** covers her entire body save for her face, which pokes unceremoniously out of the neck. She looks very unhappy about this.

Favourite Color: Blue. LIKE HER FEELINGS.

SCIENCE: Zoology! Or some close description of it.

Expo project: - Blenderbeast v.2*** - a machine that can combine two or more beasts into one fabulous one! If you dislike the result or simply are no fun, you can reverse the process and un-combine the beast. This is a cool project to present except Zoe has to present in this ridiculous costume.

Preferred train position: Driver to compensate for any lost dignity.

*Spiffybeast (Spifficus Beastius), a fabulous beast that looks like a patchwork of animal parts. They vary wildly from individual to individual. They can also breathe fire for some reason.

**The said costume looks like the most awkward combination between walrus, parrot, and chameleon. The costume is made of polyester and is very itchy and hot.

***You do not want to know what happened with v.1.
07-28-2014, 12:27 PM (This post was last modified: 07-28-2014 12:28 PM by Anomaly.)
Post: #13
RE: Science Train
Name: Dr. Pelagius Ophion

Short Description: An unsettlingly tall and skinny fellow, moderately dark-skinned with incredibly disheveled hair. Kind of dirty honestly. Wears a labcoat with a caduceus emblazoned on it. Also has a ten-foot, talking python named Helen wrapped around his shoulders. It’s a long story.

Favourite Color: Green. The color of snakes! Sometimes.

SCIENCE: Ophiology!

Expo project: The Ouroborous project, otherwise known as the INFINITE SNAKE ENGINE! A machine that can, in defiance of most laws of Science!, poll an infinite number of alternate universe, and create a portal into an appropriate one. Unfortunately, for reasons that aren’t quite clear, it can only be used to transport serpentine organisms. Meaning, a machine that summons snakes and snake-like creatures from other universes. It’s not as useful as you might hope.

Preferred train position: Medic! You never know when someone might need impromptu surgery.

I regret nothing.
07-28-2014, 12:57 PM (This post was last modified: 07-28-2014 12:59 PM by ICan'tGiveCredit.)
Post: #14
RE: Science Train
Frankly, I would've preferred Drakes.

[Image: infinity-drake-the-sons-of-scarlatti.jpg]
There's just

[Image: tumblr_lx5w5xfrfa1r09xif.gif]

too many
07-29-2014, 11:41 AM
Post: #15
RE: Science Train
This guy?

no not actually joining
07-29-2014, 11:43 AM
Post: #16
RE: Science Train
how exactly has nobody submitted LASERS yet

I won't, because maybe too much on my plate.

but come on you guys.
07-30-2014, 02:50 AM
Post: #17
RE: Science Train
And the winners are:

Doctor Feelbad
Tess and Nicole Wardenclyffe
Mikhail Pomelnikov
Dr. Pelagius Ophion
Zoe Logist

Hooray! Now before we can begin: what is the name of your Train?
07-30-2014, 02:55 AM
Post: #18
RE: Science Train
Mikhail believes that great and unstoppable SCIENCEPUNCHER will deliver us to Science Fair and destroy all non science creatures and science creatures that get in our way with its Science.
07-30-2014, 03:07 AM
Post: #19
RE: Science Train
07-30-2014, 03:49 AM
Post: #20
RE: Science Train
Mikhail also finds PAIN TRAIN an excellent name for friend train.
07-30-2014, 07:10 AM (This post was last modified: 07-30-2014 07:25 AM by Anomaly.)
Post: #21
RE: Science Train
Dr. Ophion suggested the names of various snake species, real and otherwise.

Hopefully everyone just ignored the creepy snake guy.

Helen, on the other lack of hand, thinks that PAIN TRAIN is an excellent name.
07-30-2014, 08:18 AM
Post: #22
RE: Science Train
Since all of us science bros are leaving the eastern colony together, I think it's only fitting for us to call it the BRAIN DRAIN PAIN TRAIN.

This has the added benefit of making all of the dumb things that we inevitably do sound like they were totally on purpose.

07-30-2014, 08:27 AM
Post: #23
RE: Science Train
Zoe sees nothing wrong with that. BRAIN DRAIN PAIN TRAIN it is.
07-30-2014, 08:29 AM
Post: #24
RE: Science Train
Dr. Ophion thinks that this name doesn't have nearly enough to do with Science! Of course, he doesn't have any better ideas, and Helen isn't helping matters.
07-30-2014, 08:38 AM
Post: #25
RE: Science Train
Zoe thinks the group in whole are literally the worst scientists ever. Why are they going to National World Fair to embarrass themselves.
07-30-2014, 10:08 AM (This post was last modified: 07-30-2014 10:09 AM by Demonsul.)
Post: #26
RE: Science Train
It's your train apparently. You could go to Notrussian Vegas instead.
07-30-2014, 10:15 AM
Post: #27
RE: Science Train
Dr. Ophion doesn't gamble. Probably because he only rolls...

Snake eyes.
07-30-2014, 10:32 AM
Post: #28
RE: Science Train
Mikhail believes that Zoe is foolish science lady, obviously they are greatest scientists, is why they get their own train!

Plus most science creatures are easily squishable and should make for no true rivals when they arrive.
07-31-2014, 06:42 AM
Post: #29
RE: Science Train
[Image: 000.png]

ALL ABOARD. The BRAIN DRAIN PAIN TRAIN is ready to go! Looks like there is not much space though, so all of your stuff is still packed. Sadly, there is only one SCIENCE SLOT per cart available, however, each SCIENCE SLOT can be the combination of two SCIENCES (for example, by combining bananology and laserology, you can build a banana laser gun on a SCIENCE SLOT). Exception is the train engine itself, which can take only one SCIENCE, but using it can affect the entire train.

Hopefully you will find enough SCIENCE on the way there to get more carts, and other upgrades.

Are you ready to go? First section: the Farmlands. First stop: Mount Urawr.

SCIENCE slots:
>Caboose: empty
>Science Cart: empty ((Guard this well!))
>Fuel Cart: empty
>Engine: empty
07-31-2014, 06:46 AM
Post: #30
RE: Science Train
Zoe claims dibs on the engine!
07-31-2014, 06:55 AM (This post was last modified: 07-31-2014 06:56 AM by Anomaly.)
Post: #31
RE: Science Train
"This train is severely lacking... in snakes!" Dr. Ophion declared. He immediately hauled the INFINITE SNAKE ENGINE! into the fuel room and switched it on.

He shot a glare at Tess. "Your avian will hardly be sufficient to protect us, against danger! You would do well to enhance it with Science!"

Ophion had no indoor voice. At all.
07-31-2014, 07:04 AM (This post was last modified: 07-31-2014 07:07 AM by Palamedes.)
Post: #32
RE: Science Train
Mikhail goes to fuel cart, train must feast upon the many feeble coal friends to wake up!

He suddenly sees snake man in fuel cart and frowns. Puny man would be no good for the feeding of coals to friend train! He says as much to him, also very loudly (though he does respect snake man's excellent speaking volume).

He begrudgingly sets up Friendmaker on the Science cart.
07-31-2014, 07:28 AM (This post was last modified: 07-31-2014 07:29 AM by Anomaly.)
Post: #33
RE: Science Train
"Do not worry, my large friend! We have something far better than coal at our disposal!"

A few dozen taps of the INFINITE SNAKE ENGINE!'s control panel later, Dr. Ophion had produced the desired creature - an altogether-ordinary snake, actively engaged in consuming its own tail.

It wasn't called the Ouroborous Project for nothing.

"When the Ouroborous completely devours itself, it will result in the annihilation of all matter composing its body! The release of energy will be more than enough to power this train! And dozens more!"

When not contained, of course, it was more like holding a sizable bomb in your hand. Dr. Ophion quickly burst into the engine room, tossed the snake into the SCIENCE ENGINE, and slammed the door shut.

"Hi there," Helen said to Zoe. Ophion was too busy staring at the engine with scientific glee to talk.
07-31-2014, 07:40 AM (This post was last modified: 07-31-2014 07:40 AM by Acolyte Doctor.)
Post: #34
RE: Science Train
Of all the people in this sorry train, Dr. Ophion had to burst in and claim her dibs.

"Oh hi, snake,"Zoe balefully looked at the boa and then Dr. Ophion. "He took my spot."

She gave a glance at the slowly rotating Ouroboros. "With a snake."

Steam started to pour out of Zoe's ears but it was hard to tell if she was angry or overheating.
07-31-2014, 07:42 AM
Post: #35
RE: Science Train
"I'm sure it's for a good cause," Helen said.

Ophion was grinning wildly to himself. What a weirdo.
07-31-2014, 07:56 AM (This post was last modified: 07-31-2014 08:15 AM by Acolyte Doctor.)
Post: #36
RE: Science Train
"Are you sure this is for a good cause. This is Ophion. Dr. Pelagius Ophion we are talking about," Zoe mumbled as she set up her project, trying to ignore the fact that the string-haired snake-scientist just threw a doomsnake down the hatch. "Every time he does a good thing, it goes pear-shaped. Well, snake-shaped. But still."

Zoe shuddered at the memory of "Snakeghetti-Os." How did he even manage can snakes. Let alone, live ones. SOME THINGS ARE BEST LEFT FORGOTTEN.
07-31-2014, 08:07 AM
Post: #37
RE: Science Train
"Don't worry, Zoe," Ophion announced. "This time I've double-checked my math! It's very complicated, you see!"

Ophion looked at Zoe's machine. "Is that your... animal-combining machine? I would like to test it out."
07-31-2014, 08:11 AM (This post was last modified: 07-31-2014 08:15 AM by Acolyte Doctor.)
Post: #38
RE: Science Train
"Uh. Well, what are you combining exactly?"

Zoe shielded the Blenderbeast with her flippers as though it was her own baby because by technically it was her baby. Not a biological baby or adopted baby. Science baby. But still.
07-31-2014, 08:18 AM
Post: #39
RE: Science Train
"Snakes! And perhaps... things that are not snakes! If we have anything that isn't a snake, that is... Hm."

Ophion ran off into the fuel car (which was really now more of a snake car), and returned with a couple of rattlesnakes. This was unnecessarily dangerous.
07-31-2014, 08:22 AM (This post was last modified: 07-31-2014 08:24 AM by Acolyte Doctor.)
Post: #40
RE: Science Train

Zoe wasn't really doing anything to stop Ophion but sitting and screaming. Wearing a costume that is essentially three inches thick takes a lot out of you.
07-31-2014, 08:25 AM
Post: #41
RE: Science Train
"Oh, relax, they're harmless! Mostly! They won't attack us as long as Helen is here! I think..."

Ophion didn't really wait for permission. He just tossed the snakes into the machine and started it up.
07-31-2014, 09:33 AM
Post: #42
RE: Science Train
"Hey! Who do you think you're calling insufficient snake-for-brains?! We're literally TWICE the scientist that you are!" Tess squawks after Dr. Ophion as he leaves. She follows after them into the engine room, under the pretense of continuing to harass them, but actually she just wants to see what happens with the Blenderbeast machine.

Meanwhile, Nicole does something actually productive instead and begins setting up THE COIL in the Science Cart. She sets it to "shield mode".

07-31-2014, 06:40 PM (This post was last modified: 07-31-2014 06:41 PM by Kocel.)
Post: #43
RE: Science Train
Dr. Feelbad strokes his glorious goatee, surveying the tracks behind them from his view in the caboose. He made a note to remind his crewmembers that they could have built an engine that would run off an alternative fuel rather than coal, but instead they instantly decided upon a polluting fossil fuel that hundreds of miners die yearly to obtain.

No, you don't understand, he literally writes a note on this down. A professional man, Dr. Feelbad knows that not a single negative thought or perspective should be wasted. Each is useful, in their own way, unlike humanity, who exist to reproduce and die, meaningless underneath the sheer vastness of the cosmos.

Dr. Feelbad writes this, too, down in his Negative Notebook, before setting up a projector in the caboose. It starts projecting upon the wall opposite of it choice scenes from The Film. The wall behind it seems to pale slightly in color from the exposure, and anyone who views it will be hit with vast feelings of regret and self-loathing.

Having seen this thing a hundred times, Dr. Feelbad reacts by merely producing a pan and popping corn for the stove next to him. This will be a long trip, might as well spend it productively, taking notes about the current edit of The Film and ensuring it is as effective as possible. Dr. Feelbad is, if nothing else, a productive man.
08-01-2014, 02:31 AM
Post: #44
RE: Science Train
Already trying to set up Friendmaker in the Science Cart, Mikhail bumps right into Nicole and Tess, and presumably getting it all mixed up with THE COIL.

Friendmaker activates, using THE COIL as its target. Mikhail looks surprised, then delighted.

"This is making of great Science, soon puny science woman creatures will have machine turned into friend yes?"

Mikhail nods sagely
08-01-2014, 05:20 AM
Post: #45
RE: Science Train
The Blenderbeast makes a horrible noise, and creates a Ekanselttar. It flicks it eugnot angrily.

The COIL says "Commands, please." It also extends a lightning tentacle and attaches the FRIENDMAKER to itself, while producing a gently shimmering shield.

SCIENCE slots:
>Caboose: -FILM+()-
>Science Cart: -COIL+FRIEND-
>Fuel Cart: -SNAKES+()-
>Engine: -BLENDER-

You are out of slottable science parts at the moment, but have no fear! You can surely restock later, so you can create even more combinations! Or exchange them for more carts, some nonempty, or upgrade the engine.

Begin journey through the Farmlands, or try more combinations? Beware, the area has been infested with Vermin.
08-01-2014, 05:33 AM
Post: #46
RE: Science Train
Mikhail is satisfied, but wonders what fantastic things could come by attaching the Friendmaker to the Snake Engine - especially considering the snakes are already friends.
08-01-2014, 05:41 AM
Post: #47
RE: Science Train
"Excellent, excellent!"

Dr. Ophion began scribbling notes in a notepad, along with a sketch of the Ekanselttar. It was clear that he was going to spend the entire journey combining various snakes together.

"By the way... bird. How would you like to be combined with snakes? It will certainly help you to survive the dangerous journey ahead!"

"I think it can be reversed later," Helen added. Ophion looked disappointed when he heard this.

On that note, the SCIENCE ENGINE would likely soon experience Ouroborous Decay. Ophion was clearly ready to get moving.
08-01-2014, 05:46 AM (This post was last modified: 08-01-2014 09:20 AM by Acolyte Doctor.)
Post: #48
RE: Science Train
Zoe let out a hideous screech at the subjectively hideous beast. Though, it is not known if it was out of pure terror (it was a pretty hideous beast) or vindictive annoyance that Ophion made a poor example of her SCIENCE BABY MACHINE. Zoe took a nearby pen and threatened the Ekanselttar with its MENACING CLICKS.


THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD INDEED. Also Zoe recommend that they get started going to Westcow. The National World Fair is a time-sensitive event and if they miss it, they would bring DISHONOR and SHAME among the Federal Public of Scientistan. We are all proud citizens of Scientistan, no?
08-01-2014, 08:09 AM (This post was last modified: 08-01-2014 08:09 AM by Coldblooded.)
Post: #49
RE: Science Train
"Hmm, while it is tempting to try and perform a dangerous, body-altering experiment on myself for the second time this month, I'm not sure I want to risk losing any of my precious science knowledge by combining with just any regular non-talking snake. Is there any way to make sure that I don't have to share a brain with the snake parts if I agree to jump in with them?"

Meanwhile, Nicole presses some buttons on The Coil, ordering it to protect the Science Cart from Verminbeasts, and to warn them if it detects any dangers nearby. She then starts heading for the front of the train, because she's already been separated from Tess for several minutes now, and if she know her sister that means Tess is probably about to do something extremely dangerous and stupid in the name of science.

08-01-2014, 08:14 AM
Post: #50
RE: Science Train
"A very good question. Zoe, what do you know about combining sapient and non-sapient life? Will I have to search the multiverse for... a de-brained snake first?"

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