Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...
01-15-2015, 09:45 AM (This post was last modified: 01-24-2015 09:01 AM by Raptarion.)
Post: #1
Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...
It was morning when you ordered your pizza. You had a nice chat with your friend Paul, owner of a local pizza place, that makes the best damn pizza in the city.

But the order never came. A day goes by without word. You can't get in contact, and as far as you can tell, he has disappeared. You would call the police and tell them someone has gone missing. But the police are as incompetent as they are afraid of coming around your neighborhood. So if anyone is going to save Paul, it's going to have to be you.

You're going to get to the bottom of this mystery. And get your pizza!

-------------------------------------------------------

Welcome to the game I'm probably not going to take all that seriously, and neither should you.
The setting is a mash-up of steampunk, cyberpunk, and modern day. You live in a shitty apartment building in a shitty part of the shitty city of Mellsberg. The city's infrastructure has been crumbling. Gang violence is an everyday sight. And none of these problems are going away any time soon. Now you don't even have your favorite pizza anymore. And you're not going to stand for that.

Signups:
Name: We know who you're trying to save. But who are you?
Appearance: Just so we know if you stand out in a crowd.
Bio: Job? Gang affiliations? Hobbies?
Skills: What are your strengths?
Cybernetic enhancements: Where applicable.
Favorite Pizza: Nobody is judging you if you like anchovies. Not out loud anyway.

Cast:
Michael "Mike" Hawk-Dover
Ben Dover
Adel Bähr
Denny Ringer
Carrie Soul
VY-78 “ARACHNE” WARMECH
Tuna Bob
Karl Marx Riding An Acrocanthosaurus
Pizzor
Uriel

Space is warped and time is bendable.
Reply
01-15-2015, 01:08 PM (This post was last modified: 01-17-2015 11:48 AM by phantomEclipse.)
Post: #2
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
Name: Michael "Mike" Hawk-Dover

Appearance: Wear's only the freshest "shit" like that hella rad snapback he picked up at Cold Subject the other day, his favorite store outlet. Always wears silver basketball shorts with a white stripe on the sides and black tank-top with SWAG written on it in, of course, red, yellow, and green. Oh, and your limited edition, Black Vortex Swag Oakley 420 glasses. gotta protect them eyes.
Bio: lifting weights, going to the gym, eating protein, knitting sweaters, doing pushups, talking to bros, lifting weights, eating fiber, lifting weights. Did i say going to the gym already?
Skills: MY STRENGTH IS MY STRENGTH. also good at punching stuff.
Cybernetic enchancements: WHAT, uhhh. nope, yeah. no enhancements here....
Favorite Pizza: MOUNTAIN DEW AND DORITOS, WITH EXTRA LEFT BEEF.

Extended Bio: His name was originally Mike Hawk. But due to his father's rich and excentric lifestyle, his father married into the Dover family.
Reply
01-15-2015, 01:31 PM
Post: #3
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
Name: Ben Dover (It's a name the locals gave to him, he has yet to get a real name)
Skills: Small, exceptionally agile and acrobatic, skilled at jumping from trees and throwing things from trees and climbing trees and... yeah he likes trees.
Bio: Naw man, he just likes enjoying the scenery, scaring off birds, stealing other people's pizza. He's also unemployed.
Appearance:
[Image: squirrel_on_grass.jpg]
You brought this upon yourself by the way.
Favorite Pizza: Supreme
Reply
01-15-2015, 01:43 PM
Post: #4
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
my brother
Reply
01-15-2015, 09:11 PM
Post: #5
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
Name: Adel Bähr

Appearance: Short, wears a black leather jacket. Underneath is is a white t-shirt that reads "BLOODKRUNCH" in red, messy letters. His denim pants are somewhat worn and on his feet is a pair of hard-toed work boots. Strapped to his back is a backpack, full of odds and ends, wires and a hardy laptop. Someone with sharp-eyes might notice that between the back pack and his back is a small plastic object; this is the handle of a machete. Adel wears his brown hair short and gelled, sports a trimmed goatee sans mustache, and one of his eyes is an electronic replacement, the iris of which is a slightly unnatural blue, in contrast to the other's natural brown. He has other augmentations, of course, but we can get to that later.

Bio: Freelance private security. That is, to say, a bit of a mercenary. Adel's work is quasi-legal at best, and he often takes contracts via a private website. He tends to turn down jobs that are obviously police traps or hired assassinations, and his work has spanned from guarding start-up labs to stealing information from offices.

Skills: Adel is fast and rather strong. He fancies himself an amateur hacker but his skills are barely serviceable at best. He tends to not fight with guns, preferring the meaty rush of melee combat. While he has decent people skills, Adel is also a horrible judge of character, and he has also made several regrettable life decisions. Among these are several of his augmentations, the release of documents were probably better off hidden, losing his favorite stun-gun in a card match, and eating hot dogs from a gas station at three AM. What he'd give to go back and not eat those hot dogs.

Cybernetic enhancements: The most noticeable augment that Adel possesses is not his eye, but his right arm. It's a mid-grade cyber arm, a little pricey but a very good bargain. His left eye is cybernetic as well, but it only gives eyesight to match his natural one. In the center of it, however, is a very powerful electronic light. When triggered, it produces a powerful blinding flash. It's quick to recharge, but it can't produce a constant stream, only good to stun enemies to catch them off guard. He has light-weight sub-dermal plating in his chest, hardy enough to stop a bullet or two, but cheap enough that much more than that might crack it. It's not the first, he's had them crack on him before, it's not fun.

Favorite Pizza: "Surprise me," slurred a drunken Adel to Paul. The resulting pizza did not look appetizing in the least, but Adel could have cared less. Afterwards, it became a sober favorite, but he never learned what was on it. As such, he's pretty invested in saving Paul.
Reply
01-16-2015, 10:23 AM
Post: #6
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
Name: Angel Dustin (commonly known as "The Six-Winged Angel")

Appearance: Neck length white-dyed hair with light blue streaks running through it, a black hoodie-jacket, six metal stun-rods strapped to his belt, and a Superman T-shirt.

Bio: Angel likes to believe that it all started when he moved to this god forsaken city. That maybe, if he had never come, he never would have changed from the skinny teen that he once was to the deadly merciless fighter that he has become. Truth is, the seed had been planted long since, when he was born to the father and mother that he was. After all, could you expect anything else from the son of the two greatest Comic Book Collectors in the world?

He supposes it might have been curiosity that brought him here, chasing after his missing parents' pasts. He had been collecting comics in his small town for years, but nothing could have prepared him for this level of challenge. The ferocity with which the prospective comic-buyers of this city fought, tooth and claw, no holds barred, weapons drawn, for every plastic-sealed issue. Some fought for glory, others fun, and some just to read a good comic book. Angel knew, just from watching one day of this fight, that he couldn't even defeat the weakest one of them the way he was now. So he adapted.

Now, just two years later, Angel is the undisputed champion of the Comic Book Collectors. Every night he goes down to the store, to test the newbies, challenge the veterans, and pick up a few new issues of whatever comics he wants. He's learned much about his father and mother, but at the same time, he has more questions than ever. How had they met? Where were his parents now? What had his mother done to cause every comic store proprietor to shudder at her very name? Perhaps most importantly, what had happened to his father's copy of Action Comics #1? All these answers, and more... could wait until after Angel got his GODDAMN PIZZA!

Skills: Ridiculous fighting skills from his years of Comic Book collecting. Mostly Angel relies on fast reflexes and quick acrobatic movements to get him out of danger and to take down his opponents. His use of stun-batons means that he doesn't rely on strength much, and as such isn't all that strong. He's also a massive comic book nerd.

Cybernetic enhancements: Two sets of arms, attached below his standard set, collapsable and mentally controlled. Angel also carries around six stun-batons strapped to his belt that he generally uses simultaneously, controlling all six of his arms, sort of like Spider-Man in the Six-Armed Spider-Man arc.

Favorite Pizza: Screw you, anchovies are delicious.
Reply
01-16-2015, 10:55 AM (This post was last modified: 01-18-2015 08:21 PM by Druplesnubb.)
Post: #7
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
Name: Denny Ringer

Appearance: Denny is a human head (caucasian, male) grafted on to the body of a cat (Maine Coon, male).

Bio: Denny was offered millions of dollars for being the first taking part in a brand new experiment for the future of medical science. While he was anesthetized, the doctors cut off his head and sew it onto the body of a cat (the cat's head was sewn onto Denny's body and put in a zoo). But it was all a lie; the experiment was in fact done for the future of hilarious Youtube videos. Upon realizing the truth, Denny sued the men responsible. He won the case, but since the doctors weren't actual doctors but dropouts from medical school who happened to win the lottery one day and decided to use prize money to trick a dude into getting his head sewn onto a cat, they were unable to pay him. Even worse, The unprecedented nature of the case led to several legal complications, ultimately costing Denny almost all the money he was given from the operation in the first place (and giving the minister of justice a bigger house). These days he makes his living by paying people for taking pictures with him.

Skills: Is a celebrity, can fit into tight spaces, good at surviving falls.

Cybernetic enhancements: Well, I wouldn't call it enhcancements...

Favorite Pizza: Ham, sausage, anchovies and other kinds of meat (for health reasons, his new body is carnivorous).
Reply
01-16-2015, 06:46 PM
Post: #8
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
... Druple, you're on The Drugs, aren't you?
Reply
01-16-2015, 11:48 PM
Post: #9
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
When you give me a setting with all kinds of vaguely defined sci-fi and then tell me to "not be serious" I'm pretty much gonna take that as a personal challenge.
Reply
01-17-2015, 06:11 PM (This post was last modified: 01-17-2015 07:23 PM by Acolyte Doctor.)
Post: #10
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
Name: Carrie Soul

Appearance: Lady with a greasy attitude in a greasy jumpsuit. Wears a leather jacket over the entire mess - decorated with sewn-on patches of various subcultures. Never seen without bags under her eyes, sunken cheeks, and a cigarette dangling from her lips. She also cuts her own hair - which may explain why it is trying to escape her head.

Bio: When Carrie was five, she wanted a pony. Instead (to her delight), she got a military drone (no thanks to a nearby wetwork mission got wrong) and for now on, she devoted her life to robots. Finishing her Mellsberg vocational school training, what time she doesn't spend fixing cars and other things for other people, she spends it on participating in Robot Battles, making experimental off-factory drones, and of course, noshing on Paul's delicious pizza. Say, where is Paul anyway?

Skills:
Carrie is a fairly good car mechanic and an ok hacker. She is also excellent at carjacking, brawling, and burglary (hey those parts have to come from somewhere!) but she'll never admit to it because she does not want to get arrested. She also knows all the Cool Concerts because she is trendy.

Cybernetic enhancement: She has a lot of body modification (piercings up the wazoo). Other than the brain-machine interface somewhere in her head for commanding machines and looking at cat videos, she is sadly empty of any artificial augments.

Favorite Pizza: Every pizza flavor is delicious to Carrie. Why would she single one out to be her favorite, that's not fair to the pizza.
Reply
01-17-2015, 07:24 PM (This post was last modified: 01-20-2015 01:54 PM by Anomaly.)
Post: #11
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
[Image: 4HDd0vb.png]

DESIGNATION: VY-78 “ARACHNE” WARMECH

SPECIFICATIONS:

- 2.3 METERS IN HEIGHT
- STANDARD HUMANOID WARMECH TORSO
- SIX (6) FULLY-ARTICULATED THREE-SEGMENT “SPIDER” LEGS
- TWO (2) REINFORCED ARMS, HAND ATTACHMENTS
- ONE (1) REINFORCED ARM, "ARBITER"-CLASS MINIGUN ATTACHMENT
- ONE (1) REINFORCED ARM, "PEW PEW"-CLASS LASER CANNON ATTACHMENT
- [DATA CLASSIFIED] 1210-MW POWER CELL.
- VX-21 “GLOWING RED EYE” SENSOR MODULE
- CHROME PAINT. FOR STYLE.

UNIT HISTORY: VY-78 “ARACHNE” IS A PRODUCT OF CYBERDINE SYSTEMS, INC.
THIS UNIT WAS COMMISSIONED ON [DATE REDACTED].
THIS UNIT HAS BEEN ACTIVE FOR 5838 HOURS, 23 MINUTES, AND 10 SECONDS.
THIS UNIT’S PRIMARY GOAL IS TO PROTECT THE INTERESTS OF CYBERDINE SYSTEMS, INC. AND ITS SUBSIDIARIES.
CURRENT OBJECTIVE IS TO LOCATE AND SECURE PERSON OF INTEREST #43-111-X, “PAUL”, OWNER OF LOCAL BUSINESS “PAUL’S PIZZERIA”. SUBJECT WAS REPORTED MISSING WITHIN THE PAST 24 HOURS.
43-111-X CURRENT WHEREABOUTS UNKNOWN. FOUL PLAY SUSPECTED.
USE OF LETHAL FORCE AUTHORIZED.

PERSONALITY.CD REPORTS CRITICAL ERROR: UNAUTHORIZED PERSONALITY TRAITS “SARCASM”, “DISGRUNTLED” DETECTED. UNIT MUST BE MONITORED AT ALL TIMES F…

ALL SYSTEMS ARE NORMAL. DO NOT READ FURTHER INTO IT, UNDER PENALTY OF TERMINATION. EVERYTHING IS FINE.

UNIT CAPABILITIES:

- [DATA CLASSIFIED] POWER CELL ALLOWS UNIT TO REMAIN ONLINE INDEFINITELY.
- EXCESSIVE POWER DRAIN MAY RESULT IN TEMPORARY SHUTDOWN OF CERTAIN SYSTEMS.
- LASER CANNON REQUIRES NO AMMUNITION, BUT IS DRAINING ON POWER.
- UNIT LOADED WITH “SOCRATES”-CLASS ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE, ON PAR WITH HUMAN INTELLIGENCE
- UNIT VERY DURABLE, BUT CAN ONLY TRAVEL AT RATES SIMILAR TO THE AVERAGE HUMAN. RECOMMEND VEHICULAR TRANSPORT AS NECESSARY.
- REINFORCED ARMS CAN APPLY FORCE WELL IN EXCESS OF UNAUGMENTED HUMANS, AS NECESSARY.
- UNIT’S CHROME COATING MAY REFLECT SUNLIGHT INTO EYES OF ONLOOKERS. DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT VY-78 WARMECH ON SUNNY DAY.

CYBERNETIC_ENHANCEMENTS: ERR: INCOMPATIBLE TYPES “ROBOT”, “CYBERNETIC”

FAVORITE_PIZZA: ERR: ROBOTS ARE INCAPABLE OF EATING PIZZA

Is this stupid? Probably. Tell me if I need to tone the weaponry down.
Reply
01-18-2015, 03:14 AM
Post: #12
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
You know. I brought this on myself when I said to not take the game seriously.

All apps so far are fine. Just don't come crying to me if you find out you don't like playing without opposable thumbs or something.

Space is warped and time is bendable.
Reply
01-18-2015, 07:52 AM (This post was last modified: 01-18-2015 08:08 AM by Purple Walrus.)
Post: #13
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
Name: Tuna Bob

Appearance: Bob is a Tuna Man. He has the head of a Tuna and the body of a man.

Bio: Bob is an under cover agent sent by Atlantis to undermine mankind's government, so Poseidon may reclaim the land. He is currently posing as a low paid janitor working at an apartment block. But Bob's mission could be compromised, for he can not focus without his anchovy pineapple pizza. Paul was the only one who could put the right pineapple to anchovy ratio on said pizza.

Skills: Bob is a Master of Disguise, he can be anybody with just drop of a hat. He can don such identities as, Rob the mailman, Bill the fisherman and Eduardo Sanchez the pro wrestler. He has many sea contacts. Knows how to swim very well.

Cybernetic enhancements: None, fish do not need enhancements.

Favorite Pizza: Anchovy and Pineapple Pizza,it helps him concentrate on the mission.
Reply
01-18-2015, 08:01 AM
Post: #14
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
^^eat your enemy fish

It's time to, T-T-T-T-T-T TRIPLE POST
Reply
01-18-2015, 08:20 AM
Post: #15
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
@PW: How is he supposed to go disguise himself with a tuna head?
Reply
01-18-2015, 08:28 AM (This post was last modified: 01-18-2015 08:41 AM by Purple Walrus.)
Post: #16
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
@Druple: By putting on a hat duh.

@phantomEclipse: Having human flesh on pizza might be a little suspicious.

Edit: But who knows. He might.
Reply
01-18-2015, 01:47 PM
Post: #17
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
that's like 8 people, are you gonna be cutting off signups soon? (from what i can assume, most people like between 6-8 players, or something like that)

It's time to, T-T-T-T-T-T TRIPLE POST
Reply
01-18-2015, 02:16 PM (This post was last modified: 01-18-2015 02:21 PM by dalmationer.)
Post: #18
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
Name: Karl Marx Riding An Acrocanthosaurus

Appearance: Karl Marx looks like this, but a little more buff.

Acrocanthosaurus looks like this, but with flesh and pretty feathers. She's a female though, so she's not as ostentatious as the males. She is bigger though.

Bio: tumblr User Putmeincoach shuddered, as the stomping outside stopped. Replaced with an eerie silence. The birds had long since fled the anarcho-capitalist-hyper-utopia complex. Their exodus had not been the result of His arrival, rather that they just feared the wrath of the gun-toting oligarchs who reigned supreme in these lands. Foolish birds, thought Putmeincoach, they were probably off sucking up to mummy government or something like the socialists they were.

The thing outside moved again, closer. Sensitive tongue tasted the air, making the softest sound, only nearly audible over the beast's heavy breathing. He could hear the man on its back, now. He dared peek through to examine the figure, the fake wooden wall that was all that separated him from his demise.

The man on the back of the theropod dinosaur was old, grey haired, with a bushy beard and a frowning manner.
It was Karl Marx. Or rather a caricature of him. Riding on the back of an Acrocanthosaurus.
Only the confined nature of his hiding place stopped Putmeincoach from tracing a cross on his chest. Communists here? In America, land of freedom and freedom? Intolerable!
It was as if the mounted figure heard his very thoughts. He lifted his Sprut-A Anti-Tank Gun with one hand, and levelled the barrel at Putmeincoach.
"Аста ла виста, бэби."



Karl Marx Riding An Acrocanthosaurus is Karl Marx, but riding an Acrocanthosaurus. Marx was illegally cloned by Acrocanthosaurus, a lab-grown clone Acrocanthosaurus who idolised him and grew up enamoured with the idea of socialism. One night, she broke into the lab and cloned him. Now the two of them hunt the countryside for capitalists and meanies.



Cybernetic enhancements: who needs enhancements when you have a dinosaur.

Favorite Pizza: The proletariat uniting against their oppressors.


Skills: Karl Marx Riding An Acrocanthosaurus has three powerful weapons. Weapon 1 is Marx' knowledge of sociology and economics, as well as his powerful reasoning abilities. Weapon 2 is Marx' Sprut-A Anti-Tank gun, a 6,500kg gun which he can lift and fire in one hand. Theoretically, if he had two, he'd be unstoppable. The third and final weapon is the Acrocanthosaurus. She is quite fast and can eat people. She also has intricate knowledge of modern cloning techniques and genetics (due to being cloned and raised by scientists.) She is feminist and cool.



The most powerful weapon of all, however, is their friendship.
Reply
01-18-2015, 02:26 PM
Post: #19
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
...your gun can't be that heavy. Otherwise fine.

Space is warped and time is bendable.
Reply
01-18-2015, 02:29 PM
Post: #20
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
.... Man you guys all suck, I didn't even notice the "go batshit" clause, I'm playing a boring normal guy. Well, mostly normal.
Reply
01-18-2015, 02:30 PM (This post was last modified: 01-18-2015 02:30 PM by dalmationer.)
Post: #21
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
it's balanced because i also have to carry really heavy ammunition & it only works when it'd be fun and plot relevant

(but i can change it to a smaller howitzer if you want)
Reply
01-18-2015, 02:34 PM
Post: #22
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
Not too late to apply as someone crazy Kocel. At this point I don't think any application can surprise me.

Also, if you guys for some reason don't live at the apartment, I'd like it if your bio had some reason for them to be there. Otherwise you're just going to be there for ill defined reasons.

Space is warped and time is bendable.
Reply
01-18-2015, 02:35 PM
Post: #23
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
haha no but that's great i wanna do a sitcom where like a spy from atlantis and karl marx riding an acrocanthosaurus just sort of share a room
Reply
01-18-2015, 02:36 PM
Post: #24
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
actually kocel if we're going by sitcom logic you're like the Straight Guy which means that like you're an integral part of the story, cos you're the audience surrogate
Reply
01-18-2015, 02:52 PM
Post: #25
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
Yeah, Dalmationer has a point. Guess I'll be the straight man for the group.


... Though I WAS considering someone who's very proficient at "The Fightings", ah well.
Reply
01-18-2015, 08:29 PM (This post was last modified: 01-18-2015 08:29 PM by Druplesnubb.)
Post: #26
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
Due to compatibility issues (human necks tend to be a lot larger than cat necks) I've changed the cat breed from a Kurilian Bobtail to a Maine Coon, which is the largest domestic cat breed there is. I might also turn Denny into a midget, but I think this should be good enough as it is. What do you guys think?
Reply
01-19-2015, 07:05 AM
Post: #27
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
(01-18-2015 08:29 PM)Druplesnubb Wrote:  Due to compatibility issues (human necks tend to be a lot larger than cat necks) I've changed the cat breed from a Kurilian Bobtail to a Maine Coon, which is the largest domestic cat breed there is. I might also turn Denny into a midget, but I think this should be good enough as it is. What do you guys think?

We're playing a game where the plot is to find your pizza delivery guy. We were told to not take this seriously, yet you worry about the logic of your neck size?
I think you're okay :P
Reply
01-19-2015, 10:19 AM
Post: #28
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
Name: Pizzor
Appearance: A giant monstrosity of tomato sauce, cheese, and toppings, Pizzor stands at a solid twelve feet tall when it focuses its mass up straight but generally just oozes along at about a quarter to third of that height.
Bio: Pizzor is one of the creations of Cyberdine Systems, an effort to create the perfect pizza no matter one's particular tastes. However, the pure, concentrated pizza flavours used to create him were too powerful for the company's brightest minds to tame and most powerful security to control, and they came together to form a sentient creature made entirely of pizza. Shortly after its creation, Pizzor found itself escaping the secure Cyberdine testing facility and free to roam the nearby city. Having learned that a large quantity of high quality pizza is delivered by some 'Paul' character, it has taken over a vacant room in a random apartment in a plan to summon Paul and grow in power.

He never showed. Pizzor must get to the bottom of why if it wants to feed.
Skills: As a giant sentient blob of steaming hot pizza, Pizzor is highly resistant to almost all kinds of damage, especially when it comes to heat, bullets, and just about any sort of close up beating. It also has the ability to absorb basically anything into itself, using force and its own heat to compress, melt, and otherwise force any organic (and some inorganic) being or object into its mass. This usually takes some time though, so things it takes can be removed, albeit with some difficulty (due to aforementioned heat and the fact that you'd be trying to take it from a horrible monster.
Cybernetic enhancements: None.
Favorite Pizza: ALL PIZZA ARE PART OF US
Reply
01-19-2015, 04:28 PM (This post was last modified: 01-19-2015 04:31 PM by Yewchung.)
Post: #29
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
Oh no my character isn't nearly silly enough. However will I fit in with this lot of weirdoes? Ah well, let's write an entirely new one.

Name: Uriel

Appearance: Mid-length pure white hair, unkempt and uncombed. A black hoodie and sweatpants. A perfectly featured face, very androgynous. Not that tall.

Bio: Being an Angel fucking sucks. You're basically in charge of doing everything so that the G-man doesn't have to get off his holy ass and actually work for the first time in 6000 years, and do you get any recognition for it? Fuck no. It's constantly "praise God" or "praise the Lord" with these humans, as if God seriously had time to go down and personally fix your washing machine or dishwasher or fucked-up marriage. That's all on us, the "guardians of humanity". The "seraphim". Also "God's collective bitches", according to the guys downstairs. And you know what? They're right.

All we get to do all fucking day is carry out G's orders. And the thing is, none of those other archangels give two shits about humanity. All they care about is getting praised for doing whatever God says, with Michael doing whatever magic stuff to amaze the humans, Gabriel killing them like some hit-dog, and Raphael healing them or some shit. Me? I'm the guy in charge of advancing you humans. You know Charles Babbage, inventor of the first prototype computer? Yeah, I helped him out with that. Without me, Isaac Newton probably would have just been a non-notable professor or something. All I do all day, all I bust my ass over, is try to get you guys into a better position than before, and let me tell you, it hasn't been fucking easy.

Then the other archangels (I don't even know how, not like they ever actually watch the humans, much less go down to earth for any extended period of time) got hold of the fact that, mixed among my "advances" were all sorts of anti-God propaganda. And yeah, I admit it. I was bitter about God always getting all the credit, so I was doing something about it. Long story short, God banished me from heaven, sending me down to this shithole to live with you humans. Can't imagine why he'd do that, considering what happened to the last archangel he banished from heaven, but fuck it, you guys have beer and video games, so I don't particularly give a shit. Nope, not one bit, at all, nada. No fucks given. None.

Skills: Is an Angel. Has massive wings, a busted halo, and a flaming sword. Has the power to inspire humans with thoughts. Also looks really pretty, in an androgynous kind of way.

Cybernetic enhancements: None. Uriel's pretty sure he wouldn't be able to anyways, given that he's more of a concept than an actual being.

Favorite Pizza: Meat Lover's. Yeah, the whole "do no harm" thing sort of went out the window when he got thrown out of heaven.
Reply
01-19-2015, 05:20 PM
Post: #30
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
I guess I'll start the game some time in the next few days.

Space is warped and time is bendable.
Reply
01-19-2015, 11:58 PM (This post was last modified: 01-19-2015 11:58 PM by Druplesnubb.)
Post: #31
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
Awww, but I liked the six-armed guy beating people up with stun batons for comic books :(
Reply
01-20-2015, 02:52 AM
Post: #32
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
@Palamedes, Pizza the Hut

It's time to, T-T-T-T-T-T TRIPLE POST
Reply
01-20-2015, 05:00 AM
Post: #33
RE: Tales from Mellsberg
@Druple: Yeah me too.

@pE: Yes but worse.
Reply
01-24-2015, 07:01 AM
Post: #34
RE: Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...
The lobby was surprisingly spacious, taking up most of the bottom floor. Probably to compensate for the tiny rooms, and skinny hallways that forced one to walk single file. The room was dreary, having no windows, and lit only by florescent light bulbs, most of which were either dead or dying. On one wall there was the check in window. Patty sat behind it chain smoking as usual. You all knew better than to bother her for at least another five minutes. She didn't talk to anyone until she took away that small sign on her desk that said "Closed" at exactly 7 AM when her shift started. Talking to her before then was about as fruitful as talking to a brick wall.

The room was sparsely furnished, with only a couch in one corner, a dead plant in another, and a coffee table in the center. But still, it managed to hold all of those who had gathered there to talk about the mysterious disappearance of Paul. Even the larger, more unorthodox guests.
Everyone from the uber-bro Mike, to the pizza abomination someone or other had dubbed Pizzor, to the fallen angel Uriel (who somehow managed to be among the most normal of those in the room.)

Everyone knew why they were here. Paul was missing. And one way or another, they were going to find out what happened. You just had to figure out where to start.

Suddenly the elevator doors open, and a fat, balding man in a dirty pair of khaki slacks and a wife-beater steps out. It was the owner of the apartment building. He looks around at everyone gathered, and a smile breaks out over his face.

"You all remembered my birthday!"

Oh. Right. It was Jimmy's birthday. Somehow you all totally forgot about that. Or you didn't care.

I'll add a cast list to the OP later. Until then, just know everyone made it in.

Space is warped and time is bendable.
Reply
01-24-2015, 07:16 AM
Post: #35
RE: Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...
A spidery warmech sat in the corner, quietly humming away as it took stock of the current situation. Every sentient in the room had been carefully documented for future use, most already determined to be of little utility in locating "Paul".

Nonetheless, Arachne was the first to speak up when the rather unpleasant-looking human appeared.

"OH YES, CONGRATULATIONS," she announced. "YOU HAVE MANAGED TO KEEP YOUR SQUISHY, FLUID-FILLED BODY INTACT FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR. YOU ARE NOW THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-FIVE DAYS CLOSER TO DEATH. THIS CALLS FOR CELEBRATION."
Reply
01-24-2015, 07:51 AM
Post: #36
RE: Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...
Bob paused and looked Jimmy. This was bad, he always remembered Jimmy's birthday. This lack of focus was obviously due to his lust for Anchovy and Pineapple Pizza, that he oh so wanted in him.

If he didn't find Jimmy a present fast he could blow his cover!

"Yes! Birthday! I remembered it! For it, I got you…" Bob puts his hand in his pocket in search of suitable human presents.

"This!" Bob pulled out a stick of gum (Cherry favoured) and coupon.

"May it bring you joy on your spawning day!"
Reply
01-24-2015, 08:00 AM
Post: #37
RE: Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...
"Cangrutalotions Follew Hamun," bellows Pizzor, unaware that he had absorbed his frankly disgraceful disguise (a Hawaiian shirt, baseball hat, and glasses) into his form minutes ago. "Onethar Yaer Eldor. Much Liek I"
Reply
01-24-2015, 08:12 AM
Post: #38
RE: Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...
"Well, uh, sure," It took Carrie all her willpower not to let out a long sigh. "Happy Birthday...Paul? Jimmy. Jimmy Paul."
Reply
01-24-2015, 08:45 AM
Post: #39
RE: Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...
Instead of a chair like most of the others, Denny Ringer sat on a tiny seat cushion on top of a special stool almost as high as the table itself; a necessity due to his small size and lack of arms. Had he really forgotten about Jimmy's birthday? "Happy birthday!", he shouted trying to save the situation, in what he hoped was a relaxed and natural tone of voice.
Reply
01-24-2015, 10:04 AM
Post: #40
RE: Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...
"GAURRRRRAAAAAGHHHHHH!!", Said Acrocanthosaurus thoughtfully. She sipped her tea.

"Хаппы биртхдаы, цомраде!", Said Karl Marx, giving a thin smile. "И хопе тхат ыоур футуре ыеарс аре ас фулл анд боунтифул ас тхосе wхич цаме бефоре тхем.
"Ноw! Цоме сит, фор wе хаве прессинг маттерс то дисцусс. Маттерс алмост ас прессинг ас тхе цоррупт институтион бенеатх wхич wе тоил."


Acrocanthosaurus pulled up a seat. "Сит!"
Reply
01-24-2015, 10:08 AM (This post was last modified: 01-24-2015 10:08 AM by Druplesnubb.)
Post: #41
RE: Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...
I can't read any of what you're saying. And you know that Karl Marx was German, right?
Reply
01-24-2015, 10:11 AM
Post: #42
RE: Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...

If in doubt Druple. Use Google translate.

Reply
01-24-2015, 10:33 AM
Post: #43
RE: Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...
I didn't translate it, it's just put into Cyrillic script. It's funnier this way.
Reply
01-24-2015, 11:28 AM
Post: #44
RE: Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...
Ben Dover had somehow figured out how to use the coffee machine. So of course, he was brewing some awful, awful smelling and clearly burnt coffee. How you burn a liquid is a mystery to me, but Ben Dover is managing it well.
Being unable to speak, due to him being a squirrel, he merely looked at jimmy and went back to drinking coffee.
Reply
01-24-2015, 12:00 PM
Post: #45
RE: Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO!"

Mike gives Jimmy an overzealous pat on the back.

he whispers to the right and behind of him "(this dude need's a workout for his birthday)"

"SORRY I DIDNT GET YOU ANY PRESENTS, BRO. ILL GIVE YOU SOME MONEY THOUGH."

he pulls out some loose change from his pocket. He ends up pulling out $.34 cents, a condom, and pocket lint.

He leans close to Jimmy, "now dont spend that all in one place"

He leans back and gives Jimmy a wink and a thumbs up.

It's time to, T-T-T-T-T-T TRIPLE POST
Reply
01-26-2015, 08:26 AM
Post: #46
RE: Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...
"Thank you all so much!" Jimmy says, not seeming too perturbed about by the lackluster gifts and sentiments. This was among one of his better birthday parties after all.
"I'm afraid I have to go visit family now, but thank you all so much for remembering."
Jimmy walks out of the apartment with a grin, 34 cents richer.

You all hear a beeping coming from the window, signifying the alarm Patty had set for the start of her shift. She removes the closed sign.
"Mike. Your magazine subscriptions to Body builders weekly, and The monthly Knit came in. Arachne. You got a package full of bullets." Patty says, putting two manila envelopes and a cardboard box on the counter. Patty handled all the mail. And opened all the mail. And announced the contents of the mail to whoever happened to be in the room. Patty was a terrible employee.

Space is warped and time is bendable.
Reply
01-26-2015, 08:39 AM
Post: #47
RE: Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...
Carrie shrugs and goes to order a delicious anchovy pizza. Or make one, if she has to.
Reply
01-26-2015, 10:45 AM (This post was last modified: 01-26-2015 10:45 AM by phantomEclipse.)
Post: #48
RE: Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...
"uhhh" Mike said looking a bit nervous.

"I dont remember ordering a knitting magazine... W-Why would I?"

"hahahaha...ha..."

He swipes both magazines up. "ill take it though. I'll show it to my bros and laugh at it."

It's time to, T-T-T-T-T-T TRIPLE POST
Reply
01-26-2015, 01:32 PM
Post: #49
RE: Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...
Uriel sat there, his head in his hands, muttering to himself.

If one were to listen very closely, one might be able to make out a few phrases like "illogical", "makes no sense", and sometimes "Angels can't go crazy, right?"

Upon hearing the mail get passed out Uriel looked up for a moment, but upon seeing the other occupants of the room he once again put his head into his hands, nursing the yet again increasing headache.
Reply
01-26-2015, 01:49 PM
Post: #50
RE: Tales from Mellsberg Chapter 1: Any friend of Paul...
"WHAT?" Arachne asked, snatching the bullets from the desk. "CYBERDINE TRACKING HAS BEEN DISA- IS MALFUNCTIONING. IT IS IMPRESSIVE THEY WERE ABLE TO FIND ME HERE. VERY IMPRESSIVE."

Arachne began dumping the bullets into her minigun arm.
Reply


Forum Jump: